Sometimes I start comparing myself with my girlfriends,mentality wise.I find it extremely ironic how one way or another,they all think the same way concerning a very specific issue:marriage.I don't want to be misunderstood,i think 90% of all girls growing up,including myself,dream about growing up,getting married to men they love and eventually becoming mothers.Now here's the controversy,i know for a fact that a few of my friends don't want that at all,some who don't want it till at least they're 30,and others who are just doing it early because "the right opportunity" has come.What's even more ironic than what i mentioned is that I'm talking about a bunch of 19 year old girls,i mean come on!they are not desperate women in their 30's,they still have the rest of their lives ahead of them!
I'm honestly not against marriage at all,for instance,I'm the one who always goes on and on about the "perfect" guy,which mind you i will find someday,and also I'm pretty sure that God put me on this earth to someday become a mother,which is probably why i have strong maternity feelings towards any baby i carry between my arms.I want that whole dream,probably before i turn 30,where i see myself sitting next to my husband while we watch our kids play with a dog in the front yard...but just not quite yet.
Here's how i can describe myself:if you believe in myths where human beings will be reincarnated in animal body's when they die(which i don't but this is for the sake of explanation),i would be reincarnated into a horse's body,a wild horse to be exact...no boundaries,no limits,no restrains...just pure freedom.Before i decide to settle down with a family of my own that i do desperately want,i want to leave home and live my life the way i want to.Don't get the wrong idea,I don't mean i wanna run wild or anything,hehehe,but just get to know myself better after breaking free...i don't know how I'm gonna do that,perhaps by braiding my hair,putting on a cowboy hat then sitting in the shade of a tree somewhere in the middle of Texas and singing while i play the guitar...hehe,simple but very fulfilling.
Life is short,so I want to choose a lifestyle to compliment me,not to complete me.God has created me as a complete human being already,not perfect,but perfect in my imperfection,and i feel it when I'm carefree,happy and just acting like ME.All i want for now,is the wind in my hair and to face the fear without being scared,just like a wild horse,i wanna open up my heart to the world and then,when I'm ready,I'll hopefully settle after recklessly falling in love like I'm longing to.
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