The "jojo" Complex

I have a problem.well,actually,its not really MY problem.it's more of the fact that somebody else's complex is causing me problem.

since i have decided to talk about "the" problem in this entry,i shall begin by explaining why I'm feeling so aggravated lately.
if life is a person,then i feel that this person is laughing so hard right now,pointing at me and mocking me.why you ask?
here's the thing:i take pride in being a tough person.as much as it hurts,I'm the "do what you gotta do" kinda girl.i hate it sometimes,but generally speaking i know that this is a positive thing about me.however,what made me tough are experiences that I've been through in my teens.those experiences also left me with certain "trust issues".i realize that this is a problem,but i somehow learned (with alot of time and patience that i never knew i could come up with) how to give away my trust,but only to people who earn it.those people,i usually have to decide,are worth giving my trust for...are worth fighting for...are worth loving.

so back to why life is mocking me:you see,there are many people with issues,kinda like my trust issues,however,there's one that's quite rare in people.i like to call it the "jojo" complex.this complex is characterised as follows:normal people who absolutely love you.no doubt there.now problem is,when they get really close to you,somehow they feel "threatened" or "suffocated".some say this happens because they don't like to show people how close they are to them,others might argue that its just an unnatural reaction that they have no solution for.
I,ladies and gentlemen,happen to know 2 people who suffer from this complex.and believe you me when i say,not just ANY 2 people.my best friend and my main man.yup...you read that correctly.now do you blame life for laughing at me?
this is the one thing that I've tried to protect myself from my whole life.the "tough bitch" may be as tough as freakin hell..and yet,so vulnerable when i love somebody.it's funny that in college,i realised my best friend had this problem where she keeps coming and going,depending how she feels,and she expects,i quote"to find her place still there" when she decides to get close again.i wonder if she knows how much she's missing in these precious moments while she's g0ne.ofcourse,i do update her,but its very different than actually being there.

my main man suffers from this too.i think life expects me to be angry at him(or her),but honestly speaking I'm not.i admire a person who can look me in the eyes and tell me that they have a problem.he did,and i still love him so freakin much.problem is,this is not MY complex to solve,it's theirs.I'm glad to report that they both know this.they both hurt when they hurt others with this problem of theirs.they also both realise that a solution must be found in order to establish a sense of normalcy in their futures.

As for me,well,i already said what I'm going to do with my best friend in a previous entry,I've stopped fighting,but I'm still there as promised.now as for my main man,we've been taking a form of a "break".this break gives him time to think since I'm giving him space.i explained to him however,that whatever he comes up with when this break is over,he only gets ONE chance.this is my defense mechanism.i am currently hurt which is to be expected,but i shall allow no one to break me,i am anything but a statistic...although i do miss him everyday.I see him,but it's like he's not there.
i respect however that he has some issues to go through,and i pray to God for his sake,if not for mine,that he will find a solution.

Same prayer goes towards my best friend.
i leave soon so time is one luxury i cannot afford.it's passing so fast and as long as I'm still here,still with them,i want to be happy.i want them to be happy.i want it all,or nothing at all.
since I'm not asking for much,there will be no settling and no compromising.