Sprinkles of Faith

It’s raining outside now, and I feel good. So damn good actually.

I thought that this trip I’m on to the states would be exciting, instead it turned out to be quite relaxing, which thankfully is exactly what I need. I don’t mind the laid back routine I’m having with family. Of course, there are some downfalls, like not being able to do some fun things I was planning on doing since where my mom grew up is basically a small town with nothing to do. Surprisingly, I’m loving it. I mean, I’ve always liked it here, but because of the past year, this break is welcomed in this small town. Another downside is I’m not really missing home. Well, not at all really. Maybe I will by the end of the month, but not today, not now, not at this moment.

While being on the other side of the globe, some of my friends are keeping in touch on regular basis, while others surprisingly aren’t. That bothers me to be honest, but oh well, I am currently blessed so I’m going to try to keep complaints to a minimum.

Let’s see; so far I’ve sat on a picnic table with my bare feet in moist grass while reading a good book. A really good book containing a lot of descriptions that come from the soul. Ask me about it, I highly recommend it. I’ve gone and seen Natives dancing accompanied by the beat of ancient drums and spiritual songs. It was like a flash back from Pocahontas. I laughed so hard with family to the point where my stomach hurt. I lay down on a couch next to a window that overlooks grandma’s front yard and fell asleep while staring at the heavens and feeling actual peace. I needed this. I NEED this. Relaxation, tranquility, peace.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I seem to forget all the negatives; otherwise known as bad things that I usually never forget; about people. I’m only remembering the good stuff. Moments I laughed with friends, hugged them just for no reason at all, and danced in the middle of nowhere…

Thing is, I know that I will be remembering all of this when I get back. I’ll remember broken hearts, tears, disloyalties, and perhaps the feeling of the want to run away again. I miss very few things from my life at home. To be honest, I’m even glad that when I go home, it will only be for a month, although logically speaking, life is going to get harder from then on. That I know for a fact, but I welcome it. I welcome independence. I welcome freedom. I welcome the future.

I don’t want to even think about my family back home right now. Makes me feel a little guilty, but I’m too relaxed to care. I’ve missed feeling like this. Content. I gotta try to visit more often. Family members over here are growing so fast, things are changing a lot and I hate missing it. Perhaps Christmas of ’09. '

Now that I’m done with my BA, I’m looking back and realizing a lot of things that I’ve planned haven’t worked out the way I wanted them to, but then again, many other things- granted, after a lot of hard work- have worked out better than I expected. I worked hard and so I’ve earned everything I have in my life now. I thank a lot of people for their help. I thank a few for their prayers. I thank God for it all.

Serenity, wisdom and courage sprinkled with a little bit of faith is all it takes.