Try

I'm writing this in less than a week from my last exam.In a way,I've been looking forward to being done with all the BS that I've been going through for the past semester.But now that its all over its like I've been looking around thinking now what?
Now i know is that the good thing i can catch up on reading the many books I've bought that have been collecting dust (an insult) for a while now.also,maybe i can get reintroduced to the concept of television,which i do miss.

Its been no secret that I've gone through a shitty phase during my last term,and one that i really wanted to write about but didn't get a chance to was a certain Australian friend whom i really appreciated but acted like such a child recently.I've found out that such a behavior puts me off people.i mean,there's still such a thing as common courtesy,right?

Another thing is that lately,thankfully God has been giving me what i deserve...in the good sense,lol.Now that my dreams are so close i can almost touch them if i reach out...they are there,i can see them clearly,i can stop DREAMING cuz they are actually materialising in front of my eyes....sad thing is that it seems I've gotten used to getting disappointed and not expecting anything outta life that I've forgotten how to feel pleasure.Small things in life i still treasure, but the big things where I'm supposed to get all excited and jumpy...i just get very passive.If that is the correct word,let me try to explain it,whatever the result is-good in this case-i just state it as if it was something that was supposed to happen in the 1st place.its like if i get too happy someone might take it away from me.That seems to be a pattern in my life,things I've loved then lost for reasons that are just not good enough...doc,my best friend,my dog...etc.

Then again,thank God for the many blessings in my life that He ensures to keep.

I was talking to C a while back about all of this and we figured out the following:
I'm at the no-identity "what now?" phase.I'm cleansing.Accepting the fact that I'm an adult and that I've earned everything I'm getting.Living for no purpose for a few weeks.to RELAX.

Well,I'm gonna try...I'm sure gonna damn try.